Summer is Coming – Get Your Beach On

Thats right guys, the UK is a very special place because we have to wait about an extra 2 months for the summer to kick in, and then autumn comes about 2 months early, giving us approximately 10 days of summer! Awsome.

Nevertheless, with only 10 days at your fingertips you want to make the absolute most of what time you have. For me, this means getting down to the beach, when there are only 10 potential days of women in bikini’s you really need to get an eyeful while you can. This is where your preparation comes in, if you want to ogle the ladies, you need to look good – don’t think they won’t notice you looking, they will, and when they look back, you want them to be impressed.

So without further a do, here are the top 10 things that you should do to prepare.

1. Sit-ups, every day, 20 in the morning, 30 in the evening
2. Pick up some new animal boardshorts
3. Push-ups, every day, 10 in the morning, 20 in the evening
4. Grab an O’Neil watch
5. Start eating a bit better, no more microwave or oven meals
6. Get some Quicksilver T-shirts
7. Learn to surf – do it while its cold so you’re actually good for summer
8. Buy any other surf clothes that look good and are comfortable
9. Learn to kitesurf – because the UK really does lack decent waves
10. Buy sunglasses, and get some decent ones this time.

Follow these simple steps and by the time its warm outside you’ll be ready to hit the beach with pride rather than shame.

*Additional Tip – Women love puppies, buy or borrow one.

Pimp Your Pad: Get Some Decent Furniture

We all know that the prime mehtod for pimping one’s pad is with furniture, and not just any furniture, but with prime leather sofas, a state of the art laz-y-boy chair, and some designer lamps that cost so much you had to sell your aunty patricia to be able to afford them.

Ideally you want something that screams ‘SEX’ the second you bring some girl home from a bar. Red, black, or cream leather is all very good, especially if it reclines – it just has that extra air of ‘money’ about it that the fickle sex seem to love so much. Not that I’m complaining, it just makes it all the more easier when it comes to pulling them. More furniture means I have to do less chatting up, more designer furniture means I have to do pretty much NO chatting up. Works like a charm every time.

Things to avoid:

Office furniture, wooden furniture, uncomfortable furniture, 80’s furniture, 20’s furniture, memorabilia, plastic furniture, cheap furniture, reception desks, cheap bar stools, anything in pink.

You’ve been warned!